So, why won’t your toddler sleep? Many things can make it hard for a toddler to sleep well. It is very common for little ones this age to have sleep problems. This article will help you figure out why your toddler is not sleeping and give you simple steps to help them sleep better.
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Reasons Toddlers Don’t Sleep Well
Many things can stop a toddler from sleeping. It helps to know what might be causing the problem. Here are some main reasons.
Big Changes in Growth
Toddlers go through many big changes as they learn and grow. These changes can mess up sleep. Sometimes this is called toddler sleep regression. This is a time when a child who used to sleep well suddenly has trouble sleeping.
- Learning to walk or talk
- Getting new teeth (toddler teething sleep problems)
- Feeling more independent but also more clingy
These growth spurts can make toddlers want to practice new skills at night or feel more worried when they are alone.
No Steady Bedtime Plan
A toddler bedtime routine tells your child that sleep time is coming. If there is no routine, or the routine changes a lot, your toddler won’t know what to expect. This can make it hard for them to calm down and get ready for sleep. A good routine helps their body know it is time to rest.
Sleep Times Are Wrong
Toddlers need the right amount of sleep, both at night and during the day (naps). Having a good sleep schedule for toddlers is key.
- Going to bed too late: This can make a toddler toddler overtired not sleeping. When they are too tired, they get a burst of energy and find it hard to switch off.
- Naps are too long or too short: Naps affect night sleep. A nap that is too late or too long can make it hard to fall asleep at bedtime. Not enough nap sleep can lead to being overtired. Also, some toddlers start to fight or skip naps (toddler won’t nap). This really affects their night sleep.
- Waking too early: Waking up very early can mess up the whole day’s schedule and lead to being overtired later.
Where They Sleep Is Not Right
The place where your toddler sleeps matters.
- Too much light: Even a little light can stop sleep.
- Too much noise: Loud sounds can wake them up.
- Room is too hot or too cold: Being uncomfortable makes it hard to sleep.
Feeling Sick or Hurt
If a toddler doesn’t feel well, they won’t sleep well.
- Teething: New teeth coming in can be painful (toddler teething sleep problems). This pain often gets worse at night.
- Colds, ear infections, stomach bugs: Any sickness can make sleeping hard. They might feel stuffy, cough, or have pain.
Feeling Worried or Scared
Toddlers are learning about the world. Sometimes this brings fears.
- Separation Anxiety: Around 18 months to 2 years, toddlers often get worried when you leave them (toddler separation anxiety sleep). They might cry when you put them down or wake up looking for you. They need to know you are still there.
- Fear of the dark: Shadows can look scary.
- Bad dreams: Toddlers can start having dreams that scare them.
How They Fall Asleep
How your toddler falls asleep at bedtime is important. If they need you to rock them, feed them, or stay until they are asleep, they might need the same thing when they toddler waking at night. They haven’t learned how to get toddler to sleep on their own.
Making Sleep Easier for Your Toddler
Knowing why sleep is hard is the first step. Now, let’s look at what you can do to help. These are simple expert tips.
A Steady Bedtime Plan
This is one of the most helpful tools. A good toddler bedtime routine should be:
- Short: About 20-30 minutes is often enough.
- Calm: Keep it quiet and slow. No rough play or screen time.
- The Same Every Night: Doing the same things in the same order helps your toddler feel safe and know what comes next.
Here is an example of a simple routine:
- Bath time (can be every night or every other night)
- Put on pajamas
- Brush teeth
- Quiet play or reading books together
- Last drink of water
- Cuddles and saying goodnight
- Put them in bed while they are awake
Putting them in bed awake is key. This gives them a chance to learn to fall asleep on their own.
Setting Up the Sleep Spot
Make your toddler’s room good for sleeping.
- Dark: Use thick curtains to block out light. A small night light is okay if they are scared of the dark, but not too bright.
- Quiet: Use a white noise machine if your house is noisy. This makes a soft, steady sound that can block out other sounds.
- Cool: The room should not be too warm. A slightly cool room is often best for sleep.
- Safe: Make sure the crib or bed is safe and there is nothing that could be a danger.
Getting the Sleep Times Right
Finding the best sleep schedule for toddlers takes time.
- Bedtime: Watch your toddler for signs they are getting tired (rubbing eyes, yawning). Put them to bed then, not later. Putting an toddler overtired not sleeping happens a lot. Being overtired makes it harder to fall asleep. Most toddlers do well with a bedtime between 6:30 PM and 8:00 PM.
- Naps: Most toddlers aged 1-3 need one nap a day. This nap often happens in the middle of the day.
- Try to have the nap around the same time each day.
- Nap length can be 1-3 hours.
- If the nap is too late in the day (e.g., after 3 PM for a typical bedtime), it can make night sleep hard.
- If your toddler won’t nap, try quiet time instead. Even rest without sleep helps. Keep offering the nap at the usual time.
- Consistency: Try to keep the schedule the same, even on weekends. A big change in schedule can cause sleep problems.
What About Naps?
Naps can be tricky. As toddlers get older, they might fight naps.
- Keep offering the nap: Even if they don’t sleep, quiet time in their room helps.
- Nap routine: Have a mini-routine for naps, like reading one book before putting them down.
- Watch for signs: Put them down when they show signs of being tired, not after they are already wired from being overtired.
Dealing with Night Wake-Ups
It is normal for toddlers to toddler waking at night. The goal is to help them go back to sleep on their own.
- Wait a moment: If your toddler wakes up, wait a few minutes before going in. Sometimes they will settle back down.
- Check on them simply: If you go in, keep it dark and quiet. Say a quick, soft phrase like “Mommy’s here, time to sleep.” Do not turn on lights or play.
- Help them learn to go back to sleep: If they are used to you helping them sleep, you might need a plan (see sleep training section).
- Check for real needs: Is their diaper wet? Are they sick? Address real needs calmly and quickly.
Soothing Teething Pain
Toddler teething sleep problems are tough.
- Before bed: Give a chilled teething toy to chew on.
- Medicine: If your doctor says it is okay, you can use a safe pain reliever before bed if teething pain is clearly the cause of waking. Follow dosage rules carefully.
- Extra comfort: A little extra cuddle might be needed, but try to keep other sleep rules in place if possible.
Helping with Clinginess
Toddler separation anxiety sleep is hard for everyone.
- Practice short goodbyes: During the day, leave the room for short times and come back. Say “I’ll be right back!”
- A lovey: A special blanket or stuffed animal can be a comfort item.
- Make bedtime predictable: The steady routine helps them feel safe.
- Quick goodnight: At bedtime, give hugs and kisses, say goodnight, and leave. Coming back in can make the anxiety worse. Reassure them you are near, but that it is sleep time.
Teaching How to Sleep Alone
If your toddler needs a lot of help to fall asleep or go back to sleep, you might look into toddler sleep training methods or simple ways to teach how to get toddler to sleep on their own. This is about teaching a skill, not leaving your child alone to cry for hours. There are many gentle ways to do this.
- Gradual steps: You slowly do less to help them fall asleep. For example, instead of holding them, you might sit next to the crib. Then you move your chair a little further away each night. This is sometimes called the “chair method” or “camping out”.
- Check-ins: You put your child down awake and leave the room. If they cry, you wait a short time (like 5 minutes), go in just for a moment to say “Mommy’s here, you are safe, time to sleep,” and leave. You slowly make the waiting time longer. This is a simple version of methods like Ferber.
- Fading: If you rock them to sleep, you rock them a little less each night until you are just putting them down awake.
Important points about teaching this skill:
- Be ready: Pick a time when you can be steady with the plan for at least a week or two.
- Be together: Make sure you and anyone else caring for your child follow the same plan.
- Be kind: It is okay if they cry a little. They are learning something new. You are still there and loving them.
- Start at bedtime: It is often easiest to start teaching this skill at the start of the night.
You don’t have to do strict sleep training. Even small changes, like putting them down almost asleep instead of fully asleep, can help. The main goal is to help them learn to comfort themselves and fall asleep without needing you right there every time.
Avoiding Being Too Tired
Again, watch the clock and watch your toddler. An toddler overtired not sleeping cycle is hard to break.
- Know their sleepy window: This is the time when they are tired but not yet overtired. For many toddlers, this is around 10-12 hours after they woke up for the day.
- Stick to the schedule: Even if nap was short or skipped, try to keep bedtime around the same time. An early bedtime on a day with bad naps is better than waiting until they are wired and overtired.
When to Ask for Help
Most toddler sleep problems are normal and can be helped with changes at home. But sometimes, you might need to talk to a doctor if:
- You are worried your child is not getting enough sleep.
- You think pain (like bad teething pain or ear pain) is the main issue that is not getting better.
- Your child snores loudly or stops breathing for short times (this could be sleep apnea).
- Sleep problems are making you or your child very upset.
Your doctor can check for health issues and might suggest other help.
Key Takeaways
Getting a toddler to sleep can be one of the hardest parts of parenting. But remember:
- It’s normal: Most toddlers have sleep bumps.
- Routine helps: A steady bedtime plan is powerful.
- Timing matters: Find the right schedule for naps and bedtime. Avoid overtiredness.
- Teach skills: Help your toddler learn to fall asleep on their own.
- Be patient: Changes take time. Some nights will be better than others.
- Be steady: Doing the same things every night (and for naps) helps the most.
By being steady, kind, and using these simple tips, you can help your toddler (and yourself!) get more rest.
Quick Answers to Common Sleep Questions
Here are some quick answers to things parents often ask about how to get toddler to sleep.
Q: What is toddler sleep regression?
A: It is when a toddler who used to sleep well suddenly starts having problems with sleep. This often happens around 18 months or 2 years old. It is usually caused by growth and learning new things.
Q: How long should a toddler bedtime routine be?
A: Around 20 to 30 minutes is often good. It should be long enough to help them calm down but not so long that they get bored or wired.
Q: My toddler won’t nap. What should I do?
A: Keep offering a nap at the same time each day. Even if they don’t sleep, make it a quiet time in their room. They still need rest. Make sure night bedtime is not too late if naps are short or skipped.
Q: Is toddler sleep training bad?
A: No. Gentle sleep training is about teaching a child the skill of falling asleep on their own. It does not mean leaving them alone for long times. There are many gentle methods that involve checking on them or staying nearby.
Q: How do I know if my toddler is overtired?
A: Instead of being slow or sleepy, overtired toddlers often seem more active, wired, clumsy, or cranky. They might resist sleep strongly.
Q: How can I help with toddler separation anxiety sleep?
A: Have a steady bedtime routine. Give lots of hugs and kisses, say goodnight clearly, and then leave the room. A comfort item like a blanket or special toy can help. Practice short times apart during the day so they learn you come back.
Q: How much sleep does a toddler need?
A: Most toddlers need about 11-14 hours of sleep in a full day. This includes night sleep and naps. The amount can be different for each child.