Your toddler is not sleeping well for many reasons. They might be going through big changes in their body or brain. Things like learning to walk or talk can affect sleep. Changes in their daily schedule or feeling sick can also stop them from sleeping. Sometimes, they feel scared or anxious when you are not close by. Being too tired or having bad dreams can also cause sleep problems. Toddlers are also learning about rules, and staying in bed is a rule they might test. It’s often a mix of these things that makes bedtime hard or causes them to wake up at night.
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Common Reasons Toddlers Struggle with Sleep
Sleep is very important for little kids. It helps their bodies grow and their brains learn. But many toddlers have trouble sleeping sometimes. This can be very hard for parents and the child. Let’s look at some main reasons why your toddler might not be sleeping well.
Grasping Growth Spurts and Brain Jumps
Toddlers are changing very fast. Their bodies grow bigger quickly. Their brains are also making many new connections. These big jumps in growth and learning can mess with their sleep.
Toddler sleep regression explained
Sometimes, a toddler who used to sleep well starts having sleep problems. This is often called a toddler sleep regression. It happens because they are learning new skills. They might be learning to stand up in their crib. They might be saying new words or understanding more things.
- When does this happen? Common times for sleep regressions are around 18 months and again around 2 years old.
- What does it look like? They might start waking up at night more often. They might refuse naps or take shorter naps. Bedtime might become a fight.
- Why does it happen? Their busy brains make it hard to calm down and sleep. They want to practice their new skills, even at night. They might also feel more aware of being alone.
This phase can be frustrating. But it usually does not last forever. Keep your bedtime plan strong. Give them lots of chances to practice skills during the day. This can help.
Deciphering Changes in Schedule
Toddlers like having a plan for their day. They like knowing what happens next. Changes to their usual schedule can upset them. This can make sleep harder.
- Big life events: Starting daycare, moving to a new room, or a new baby arriving can all change things. These changes can make a toddler feel unsure. This can lead to sleep problems.
- Travel or visitors: Going on a trip or having guests stay over changes the usual routine. This can make it hard for a toddler to settle down for sleep.
Toddler nap schedule matters
Naps are a key part of a toddler’s day. They help prevent them from getting too tired. But nap times can also cause sleep problems if they are not right.
- Too much nap time: If a toddler naps too long or too late in the day, they might not be tired enough for bedtime.
- Too little nap time: If a toddler skips a nap or naps are too short, they can get overtired. An overtired toddler has a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep.
- Nap transition: Around age 3, many toddlers stop taking naps. This big change can make them very tired at first. It can also mess up bedtime.
Think about your toddler’s nap schedule. Is it right for their age? Is it happening at the same time each day? Keeping nap times regular helps their body know when it’s time to rest.
Fathoming Not Having a Good Bedtime Plan
A regular bedtime plan, or routine, tells a toddler’s body and mind that it is time to wind down. It helps them get ready for sleep. If there is no routine, or if it changes a lot, sleep can be hard.
The power of a toddler bedtime routine
A good routine makes bedtime calm and predictable. It signals that sleep is coming.
- What makes a good routine? It should be quiet, calm, and happen in the same order each night.
- Examples: A warm bath, putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, reading a few quiet books, singing a soft song, and a final hug.
- How long? A routine does not need to be long. 20 to 30 minutes is often enough.
- Why it helps: Doing the same things each night helps a toddler feel safe and relaxed. It helps them switch from active play to quiet time. This makes falling asleep easier.
Without a steady routine, bedtime can feel sudden and scary. This can make a toddler fight sleep. Making a simple, steady routine is a powerful step to better sleep.
Interpreting Learning New Things
As kids grow, they are always learning. They learn to roll over, sit, crawl, walk, and run. They learn to talk, sing, and play pretend games. These new skills are exciting! But they can also affect sleep.
- Physical skills: A baby learning to crawl might practice in their crib. A toddler learning to stand or walk might do the same. This makes it hard for them to lie down and rest.
- Thinking skills: Toddlers are learning so much about the world. Their minds are very active. This can make it hard for them to turn off their brains at night. They might think about the day or imagine things.
This is a normal part of growing up. Give your toddler lots of chances to use their new skills during the day. This might help them feel less need to practice at night.
Comprehending Feeling Sick or Teething
When a toddler does not feel well, sleep is often the first thing to go wrong.
- Colds and sickness: A stuffy nose, cough, or fever makes it hard to breathe and feel comfortable. This can cause a toddler to wake up often or refuse to sleep.
- Ear infections: Lying flat can make ear pain worse. This is a common reason for night waking.
Teething toddler sleep issues
Getting new teeth is hard work! It can cause pain and discomfort. This pain often seems worse at night when there are fewer distractions.
- Signs of teething affecting sleep: Your toddler might be more fussy than usual. They might chew on things. You might see red gums. They might wake up crying at night because of pain.
- What teeth cause problems? Molars (back teeth) often cause the most pain because they are big. The canine teeth (pointy ones) can also be tough.
If you think teething or sickness is the problem, talk to your doctor. They can suggest safe ways to help ease the pain and discomfort. Simple things like a cold washcloth to chew on or safe pain relief (if okayed by your doctor) can help.
Grasping Feeling Afraid or Worried
Toddlers are starting to understand more about the world. This can sometimes bring new fears. They might be scared of the dark. They might be scared of being alone.
Toddler separation anxiety at night
One big fear for toddlers is being away from their parents. This is called separation anxiety. It often gets stronger around 15-18 months and again around 2-3 years.
- How it affects sleep: A toddler with separation anxiety might cry when you leave the room at bedtime. They might call out for you or try to get out of bed to find you. They might wake up at night and cry because they realize they are alone.
- Why it happens: They are learning that you are a separate person and that you can leave. They don’t yet understand that you will always come back.
- How to help: Make sure they feel safe and loved. Use a lovey (blanket or stuffed animal) for comfort. Do not sneak out of the room. Say a quick, firm goodbye. If they wake up, comfort them quickly without making a big fuss. Let them know you are nearby.
New fears about monsters or bad dreams can also start around this age. A night light can help with fear of the dark. Talking about their worries during the day can also make a difference.
Interpreting Getting Too Tired
It sounds strange, but being too tired can make it harder to sleep. When a toddler is overtired, their body makes stress hormones. These hormones make it hard to relax and fall asleep.
Recognizing overtired toddler signs
It’s important to spot the signs of an overtired toddler.
- Classic signs: Yawning, rubbing eyes are obvious.
- Less obvious signs: Becoming hyper or extra silly. Getting a “second wind.” Being fussy, irritable, or crying easily. Having meltdowns over small things. Looking pale under the eyes.
- Sleep effects: Taking a long time to fall asleep. Waking up soon after falling asleep. Waking up many times at night. Waking up too early in the morning.
If you see these signs, your toddler might need earlier bedtimes. Or maybe their nap schedule needs adjusting. Finding the “sweet spot” for bedtime is key. It’s the time when they are tired enough to sleep but not yet overtired.
Comprehending Bad Dreams or Night Wakings
Toddlers can have bad dreams just like grown-ups. They can also have something called night terrors. These can be scary for both the child and the parent.
Toddler night terrors vs. nightmares
It’s helpful to know the difference between these two sleep problems.
| Feature | Night Terrors | Nightmares |
|---|---|---|
| When it happens | Early in the night (first few hours of sleep) | Later in the night (closer to morning) |
| What it looks like | Child screams, thrashes, eyes open but not awake. Might look scared. Hard to wake up or comfort. Doesn’t remember it. | Child cries, wakes up fully or partly. Can be comforted. Often remembers the bad dream. |
| What to do | Do not try to wake them up. Keep them safe from getting hurt. Wait for it to pass (usually a few minutes). | Wake them up gently. Comfort and reassure them. Talk about the dream if they want to (but don’t make it a big scary thing). |
Night terrors are not dreams. They are more like a sudden, scary reaction during deep sleep. The child is not really awake. Nightmares are bad dreams that happen during lighter sleep. The child often wakes up and remembers the scary dream.
Toddler waking up at night reasons
Even without bad dreams, toddlers wake up at night for many reasons.
- Hunger or thirst: Younger toddlers might still need a night feed. Older toddlers might just be thirsty.
- Dirty or wet diaper: This is uncomfortable and wakes them up.
- Being too hot or cold: Check the room temperature and their pajamas.
- Noise or light: Loud sounds or bright lights can disturb sleep.
- Need to go potty: If they are potty trained, they might wake up to go.
- Habit: Sometimes, they wake up out of habit, especially if they needed help falling asleep at bedtime.
- Sickness or teething: As mentioned before, discomfort causes wakings.
Helping your toddler learn to go back to sleep on their own after these normal wakings is part of them becoming a good sleeper.
Interpreting Testing Limits
As toddlers grow, they learn about rules. They also learn what happens when they don’t follow rules. Bedtime is a common time for toddlers to test limits.
Toddler won’t stay in bed strategies
This is a very common problem! Your toddler might get out of bed again and again. They might call for you or make excuses to leave their room.
- Why they do it: They might not want to miss out on things. They might just want more time with you. They are learning they can make choices (like staying in bed or not).
- What to do: Be firm but calm. Tell them it is bedtime and they need to stay in bed. Walk them back to bed right away, each time. Don’t get angry. Don’t give in and let them stay up or come into your bed (unless that is part of your family’s plan).
- Keep it boring: When you walk them back, do not talk much. Do not lecture. Do not get pulled into a game. Just put them back in bed.
- Use a gate: For safety and to help them learn, a gate across the bedroom door can be helpful at first.
- Positive reinforcement: Praise them when they do stay in bed. You can use a sticker chart for staying in bed all night.
This phase can take a lot of patience. Being steady and doing the same thing every time is key. They will learn what the rule is.
Steps to Help Your Toddler Sleep Better
Finding out why your toddler is not sleeping is the first step. The next step is to try things that can help. Here are some simple ideas.
Making a Good Bedtime Plan
We talked about this before, but it’s worth saying again. A steady, calm routine is very important.
- Make it short: 20-30 minutes is good.
- Keep it quiet: No TV or active play.
- Do it in order: The same steps every night.
- Last step is bed: The last thing you do is put them in bed while they are awake. This helps them learn to fall asleep on their own.
Example routine:
1. Clean up toys (maybe the parent helps a lot)
2. Bath time
3. Pajamas and brush teeth
4. Quiet reading time (1-3 books)
5. Sing a quiet song or two
6. Hugs and kisses
7. Put in bed awake
Checking Nap Times
Look at your toddler’s nap schedule. Is it working for them?
- Is the nap too late? A nap ending late in the afternoon can make bedtime hard. Try moving it earlier.
- Is the nap too long? If they nap for many hours and then cannot sleep at night, try waking them gently after a shorter nap.
- Are they skipping naps? If they are tired but refuse to nap, you might need a “quiet time” instead. They don’t have to sleep, but they must rest quietly in their room.
Think about your toddler’s age and how much sleep they need in a full day (naps + night). Most toddlers need 11-14 hours of sleep total.
Helping Them Feel Safe
If your toddler is scared or has separation anxiety, helping them feel safe is key.
- Special comfort item: Let them have a favorite blanket or soft toy in bed.
- Night light: A dim light can help with fear of the dark.
- Checking in: If they are having a hard time with separation, you can try checking on them after you leave the room. Wait a few minutes, peek in, say “Mommy is right here, time for sleep,” and leave. Do not go in unless you need to. Make check-ins shorter and less often over time.
- Talk about fears: During the day, talk about things that scare them. Read books about bedtime and sleeping alone.
Handling Night Wakings
When your toddler wakes up at night, try to figure out why.
- Quick check: Are they sick? Do they need a drink or diaper change? Address real needs simply and quickly. Keep lights dim and voices quiet.
- Comfort and leave: If they are just waking up and crying for you (not sick or needing something), go in calmly. Reassure them you are there and they are safe. But do not turn on lights, play, or stay long. Help them lie back down. Then leave the room.
- Less and less help: Over time, you want to help them less and less to go back to sleep. This is part of teaching them to soothe themselves.
Thinking About Sleep Help
If sleep problems are very hard for everyone, you might think about getting more help.
Toddler sleep training basics
Toddler sleep training means helping your child learn to fall asleep on their own at bedtime and go back to sleep on their own during the night. There are different ways to do this.
- “Cry it out” (Extinction): This involves putting your child in bed awake and not going back in until morning, or only for quick checks. It can be hard but often works quickly.
- Gradual methods (Ferber method/graduated extinction): This involves checking on your child at planned times that get longer each time. You reassure them but do not pick them up or stay long.
- “No tears” methods: These methods involve staying with your child and comforting them fully when they cry, but slowly reducing the amount of help you give them to fall asleep. You might sit closer to the door each night.
Important points about sleep training:
* It works best when your child is not sick or teething.
* Make sure they have a good bedtime routine and nap schedule first.
* Be consistent! Doing it sometimes but not others makes it harder.
* Choose a method that feels right for your family.
* Sleep training does not mean you never comfort your child. You still meet their needs, but you teach them they can also soothe themselves.
Sleep training is a choice. It is not right for everyone. But for many families, it can lead to much better sleep for both the child and the parents. Better sleep makes everyone feel better during the day.
When to Ask for Help
Most toddler sleep problems are normal and get better with time and consistent routines. But sometimes, it is a good idea to talk to a doctor or a sleep expert.
- If your child has trouble breathing during sleep. This could be a sign of something like sleep apnea.
- If your child is having very scary night terrors or frequent, intense nightmares.
- If sleep problems are causing big problems for your child during the day. Are they very tired, cranky, or having trouble learning or playing?
- If sleep problems are making the parents feel very stressed or depressed. Your health matters too!
- If you have tried many things and nothing is helping. A sleep expert can offer new ideas and make a plan just for your child.
- If you are worried about your child’s growth or health. Poor sleep can affect growth and well-being.
Talking to your doctor is always a good first step if you have health worries or need advice on sleep.
FAQ Section
Here are some common questions parents ask about toddler sleep.
H4: How much sleep does a toddler need?
Most toddlers (ages 1-3) need about 11 to 14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour day. This usually includes 10-12 hours at night and 1-2 hours for naps (or two shorter naps for younger toddlers). Some need a little more, some a little less. Watch your child to see if they seem well-rested during the day.
H4: My toddler fights bedtime every night. What can I do?
First, make sure they are not overtired. An overtired toddler fights sleep more. Have a calm, steady bedtime routine. Make sure the room is dark and quiet. Be firm and consistent about bedtime rules. If they keep getting out of bed (toddler won’t stay in bed), gently walk them back each time without getting upset. Try using a gate or doorknob cover if needed.
H4: Is it okay for my toddler to sleep with me?
This is a personal choice for each family. Some families choose to share a bed with their toddler. For others, having the toddler in their own bed is important for everyone to get good sleep. If you want your toddler to sleep alone but they are trying to get into your bed, be consistent about walking them back to their own room.
H4: What is a toddler sleep regression and how long does it last?
A toddler sleep regression is a time when a toddler who was sleeping well suddenly starts having sleep problems. This often happens around 18 months or 2 years old. It is usually linked to big developmental leaps like walking, talking, or more awareness of their surroundings (toddler separation anxiety). Sleep regressions usually last a few weeks, often 2 to 6 weeks. Being consistent with your routine helps it pass faster.
H4: My toddler wakes up crying every night. Why is this happening?
There are many reasons for a toddler waking up at night. It could be hunger, thirst, a dirty diaper, feeling sick (teething toddler sleep), being too hot or cold, a bad dream, or just waking up between sleep cycles and needing help to go back to sleep. Think about what might be happening at that time. Keep night checks calm and quick.
H4: How do I know if my toddler is overtired?
Signs of an overtired toddler signs are not just yawning. They can be hyper, silly, clumsy, fussy, easily upset, or have meltdowns. They might get a “second wind” and seem wide awake right before bedtime. Pay attention to their mood and behavior in the late afternoon and evening. Getting them to bed earlier can often help.
H4: Can I sleep train a toddler?
Yes, you can use toddler sleep training methods with a toddler. The goal is to help them learn to fall asleep on their own and go back to sleep without your help if they wake up. Methods can range from letting them “cry it out” to more gradual ways where you check on them or slowly reduce your presence. It is important to be consistent and make sure they are not sick or in pain before starting.
H4: What should I do about toddler night terrors?
Toddler night terrors happen during deep sleep. Your child might scream, look scared, or thrash but they are not awake. Do not try to wake them up. Just make sure they are safe and cannot hurt themselves. Stay calm and wait for it to pass. They won’t remember it in the morning. If they happen often, talk to your doctor. Sometimes they can be linked to being overtired or having an irregular sleep schedule. Making sleep more regular can help.