A Parent’s Guide: How To Potty Train Stubborn Toddler

Is it normal for a toddler to be stubborn about potty training? Yes, it is very common for toddlers to show resistance during potty training. Many parents face challenges when their child refuses to use the potty. This guide helps you. It gives tips for your potty training resistant toddler. We will look at why it happens and what you can do. You can help your stubborn toddler won’t use potty learn this big step.

Image Source: kandookids.com

Finding Reasons For Potty Troubles

Toddlers can be stubborn for many reasons. Potty training difficulties are common. Knowing why your child refuses potty can help you choose the right plan.

• Fear of the Potty: The toilet is big and noisy. The potty chair is new. Some toddlers are scared of sitting on it. They might fear falling in. They might dislike the flushing sound. A toddler scared of potty needs extra gentle help.
• Wanting Control: Toddlers love saying “no.” Potty training asks them to follow rules about their body. This is a big area where they feel they have control. A stubborn toddler wants to decide when and where they go.
• Not Ready Yet: Potty training takes many skills. A child needs to know when they have to go. They need to tell you. They need to pull pants down. If a child is not ready, they will fight it. This looks like stubbornness.
• Bad Past Experience: Maybe sitting on the potty hurt. Maybe you got upset about an accident. A bad experience can make a toddler afraid to try again.
• Big Changes: A new baby, moving, or starting a new school can stress a child. They may resist potty training during these times. Potty training regression can happen when life changes.
• Just Not Interested: Some kids simply do not care about using the potty. They are happy in diapers. They do not see why they should change.
• Sensory Issues: The feeling of the potty seat, toilet paper, or even wetness can bother some children a lot.

Knowing the root cause helps you pick the best way to help.

Checking If Your Child Is Ready

Potty training goes much better when your child is truly ready. Pushing a child who is not ready often leads to more stubbornness and potty training difficulties. Look for these signs.

• Bodily Signs:
  • They stay dry for longer times (2 hours or more).
  • They have bowel movements at regular times.
  • They let you know they are peeing or pooping (by hiding, making faces, or telling you after).
  • They wake up dry from naps.
• Acting Signs:
  • They can pull their pants up and down.
  • They can sit still for a few minutes.
  • They show interest in the potty or toilet. They might watch you or other family members use the toilet.
  • They do not like the feeling of a wet or dirty diaper.
  • They can follow simple instructions.
  • They can tell you they need to go before it happens (sometimes).
  • They can tell you they are going.

Most kids show signs of readiness between 18 and 30 months. But some are ready earlier or later. Do not focus only on age. Focus on the signs. If your toddler refuses potty and shows very few readiness signs, it might be better to wait a few weeks or months. Starting when they are ready makes it easier for everyone. It can prevent some stubbornness.

Seeing Common Potty Training Difficulties

Even when kids are ready, they can still face hurdles. A stubborn toddler won’t use potty in many ways. Here are some common issues and how a toddler refuses potty:

• Refusing to Sit: The child will not sit on the potty chair or toilet. They might cry, run away, or stiffen their body.
  • Why: Fear, not wanting to stop playing, wanting control.
• Sitting, But Not Going: They will sit there, but nothing happens. Then they have an accident minutes later.
  • Why: Not truly feeling the urge, not relaxed, feeling pressure.
• Only Going After Getting Off: They sit, get off, and then immediately pee or poop on the floor or in their pants.
  • Why: Feeling more comfortable off the potty, feeling rushed while on the potty, not connecting the feeling with the potty place.
• Having Many Accidents: They have accidents often, even after seeming to make progress. This can feel like dealing with potty training regression.
  • Why: Getting distracted, not recognizing the signs fast enough, forgetting, life changes, medical reasons.
• Only Pooping in Diapers: They will pee in the potty but insist on a diaper for poop.
  • Why: Pooping feels different, it can be scarier or take more pushing, they are used to the feeling of pooping in a diaper, fear of the poop itself or flushing it.
• Hiding to Go: They go to another room or behind furniture to pee or poop.
  • Why: They know what is happening and want privacy, they feel shame, they are trying to control the situation.
• Getting Distracted: They play with the toilet paper, the flush handle, or toys instead of focusing on going.
  • Why: This is new and interesting! Going potty takes a backseat to fun.

These are normal parts of learning. They do not always mean the child is truly “stubborn.” Often, it means they need more time, patience, or a different approach.

Simple Steps To Try

Now, let’s look at tips for potty training reluctant toddler and methods for getting stubborn child to potty train. These ideas focus on making it positive and low-pressure.

Making Potty Time Fun

• Use Potty Books and Videos: Read books about using the potty. Watch friendly shows. Make the potty seem like a normal, good thing.
• Sing Songs: Make up silly songs about sitting on the potty or washing hands.
• Potty Toys: Keep special toys or books only for potty time. This makes sitting on the potty more appealing.
• Sticker Charts: For older toddlers (usually 3+), a sticker chart can help. They get a sticker for trying, for sitting, or for going. This is one way how to motivate stubborn toddler potty training. Small toys or extra playtime can be rewards for filling the chart.
• Celebrate Small Steps: Clap and cheer when they try. Say “Good job sitting on the potty!” Do not just praise going. Praise the effort.

Giving Your Child Control

Stubbornness often comes from wanting control. Give them small choices related to the potty.

• Potty Chair or Adapter? Let them pick if they want a small potty chair on the floor or a special seat on the big toilet.
• Where To Put Potty? Let them help pick a spot for the potty chair (at first, near the play area is good).
• Pick Potty Gear: Let them pick their own potty books, potty-themed underwear, or a special potty toy.
• Let Them Lead: If they want to sit backwards, let them. If they want you to leave the room, try it (if safe). As long as they are trying, be flexible.

Being Patient And Calm

This is key when facing potty training difficulties. Your reaction matters a lot.

• Stay Positive: Use a happy, calm voice. Potty training should not be a battle.
• Do Not Punish: Never scold, shame, or punish a child for accidents. Accidents are part of learning. Getting upset will make them scared to try. This just makes a toddler refuses potty even more.
• Clean Up Accidents Without Fuss: “Oops, looks like you peed. Let’s clean it up. Next time, let’s try to get it in the potty.” Keep it simple and matter-of-fact. Let them help if they want to.
• Take Breaks: If you are both getting stressed, take a break from active training for a week or two. Go back to diapers. Trying again later often works better. This is okay! It is not giving up.

Using Specific Potty Methods

There are different ways to potty train. Some might work better for stubborn or reluctant kids. Potty training methods for difficult toddlers often share common ideas but differ in speed.

• Child-Led: You watch for signs of readiness. You put the potty out. You talk about it. You let the child explore and decide when they want to try. You do not force it. This works well for control-seeking kids.
• Bare Bottom Method: Let the child go without pants or a diaper for a few days at home. This helps them feel what is happening more easily. Keep the potty nearby. This can speed up the learning process for recognizing the urge.
• Routine: Put potty breaks into your daily schedule. First thing in the morning, before naps, after meals, before bed, before leaving the house. Even if they do not go, sitting and trying is good practice.
• Modeling: Let your child see you use the toilet (if you are comfortable). This is how they learn it is normal. Let them flush (if they are not scared).

Tips For Your Reluctant Toddler

These are specific actions you can take to help a child who does not want to potty train.

• Make it Accessible: Have the potty chair in the room where they play most. Do not make them go far.
• Start Slow: Just have them sit on the potty (fully clothed) while you read a book. Do this for just a minute. Slowly add time. Then try sitting without pants for a short time.
• Use Warm Water: For pee, sometimes running warm water in the sink helps them relax and feel the urge.
• Blowing Bubbles: Blowing helps relax the pelvic floor muscles. Have them blow bubbles while sitting on the potty to help them go.
• Put Poop in the Potty: If they poop in a diaper, show them how you dump the poop into the potty. Let them wave goodbye to it or flush (if they are not scared). This helps them link poop with the potty.

Helping Your Stubborn Child

Getting stubborn child to potty train requires extra patience and smart tactics.

• Do Not Ask, Just Go: Instead of asking “Do you need to go potty?” which can get a “No!”, try saying “It’s potty time now. Let’s go sit.” or “Time to try the potty before we go outside.” Frame it as a part of the routine, not an option.
• Use Visuals: A simple picture schedule showing “play -> potty -> wash hands -> snack” can help them know what to expect.
• Limit Liquids Before Potty Time: Give drinks, then about 20-30 minutes later, suggest a potty break.
• The “Potty Party”: When they do go, especially poop, make a big deal! Call family members (if they are there), sing, dance, do a special cheer. Over-the-top positive reactions can be great motivation. This is how to motivate stubborn toddler potty training.
• Let Them Teach a Toy: Let your child “potty train” a doll or stuffed animal. They can sit the toy on the potty and talk about it. This helps them process the steps and feel in charge.

Making The Potty Not Scary

If a toddler scared of potty, directly address the fear.

• Decorate the Potty: Let them put stickers on the potty chair. Make it look friendly.
• Talk About It: “The potty isn’t scary. It’s just a chair for pee and poop.”
• Cover the Flush: If the flushing sound scares them, close the lid or have them leave the room before you flush. Flush later when they are not there.
• Use a Potty Chair First: The small size on the floor is less scary than the big toilet.
• Let Them Touch and Explore: Let them touch the potty (when clean!). Let them put toys in it (and take them out). Let them explore it when they are not expected to go.
• Nightlights: Make the bathroom not dark or scary at night.

When Things Go Backward

Dealing with potty training regression means your child was using the potty well, but now they are having lots of accidents again or refusing the potty. This is frustrating but common.

• Why Regression Happens:
  • Stress (new sibling, new school, moving, family changes).
  • Illness (even a small cold).
  • Getting too busy playing and forgetting.
  • Testing boundaries (part of development).
  • Not feeling 100% well (like a small UTI).
• How to Handle Regression:
  • Stay Calm: This is the most important thing. Do not get angry.
  • Go Back to Basics: Remind them gently about the potty. Increase potty breaks.
  • Check for Reasons: Has anything changed? Are they feeling okay? Talk to them simply.
  • Do Not Blame: “Oh, you had an accident. Let’s clean up.” Avoid “Why didn’t you use the potty?”
  • Briefly Use Pull-Ups: If accidents are constant, using pull-ups for a short time can reduce stress. But keep practicing potty time regularly. Do not treat pull-ups like diapers. Remind them the pull-up is just in case, but we still try the potty.
  • Revisit Rewards: If you used rewards before, maybe bring them back for a short time to rebuild confidence.
  • Give It Time: Regression is usually temporary. Be patient and consistent.

Dealing with potty training regression is a phase. It does not mean you failed. It just means your child needs a little extra support right now.

Putting All Tips To Use

Potty training methods for difficult toddlers often involve a mix of these ideas. There is no single magic trick. Consistency and a positive approach are vital.

• Set a Good Tone: Start potty training when you feel ready and calm. Do not start when you are stressed.
• Be Consistent: Use the same words for pee and poop. Follow the same routine.
• Everyone On Board: Make sure everyone who cares for your child (parents, grandparents, daycare workers) uses the same approach.
• Dress for Success: Use clothes that are easy to remove quickly. Elastic waists are your friend!
• Potty Before Leaving: Always try the potty before you go anywhere.
• Bring a Portable Potty: If you are out often, a small travel potty can be helpful. It uses the same potty your child is used to.

Remember that every child is different. What worked for your friend’s child might not work for yours. Be willing to try different things and adjust your plan.

Knowing When To Ask For Help

Most potty training difficulties, even with a stubborn toddler, are normal and get better with time and patience. However, sometimes it is wise to get advice from a doctor.

• Signs to Talk to a Doctor:
  • Your child was fully trained for many months and suddenly has major regression that lasts a long time.
  • Signs of pain when peeing or pooping.
  • Peeing much more or much less often than usual.
  • Very hard or painful bowel movements.
  • Refusing to poop to the point of holding it for days.
  • Training has caused extreme stress or conflict for many months with no progress.
  • You worry about their development or other behaviors.

A doctor can check for medical issues like constipation or urinary tract infections. They can also offer guidance if there are developmental concerns.

Your Potty Training Journey

Potty training a stubborn toddler can feel like a slow, hard road. There will be good days and bad days. There will be messes. There will be moments you feel like giving up. This is normal.

Take a deep breath. Your child is not trying to make your life hard. They are learning a big new skill. They might feel scared, unsure, or just busy being a toddler!

Focus on the progress, not perfection. Acknowledge the small wins. Stay calm during the accidents. Use the tips for potty training reluctant toddler. Try different potty training methods for difficult toddlers. Find out how to motivate stubborn toddler potty training in ways that work for your child.

Celebrate the journey, not just the destination. You are helping your child become more independent. With patience, consistency, and a lot of love, your stubborn toddler will get there. You can help your getting stubborn child to potty train succeed. Keep trying, and be kind to yourself too.

Common Questions

Here are some questions many parents ask about potty training a child who resists.

How long does it take to potty train a stubborn toddler?

There is no set time. Some kids take a few days. Others take many months, or even a year or longer. For a stubborn toddler won’t use potty, it often takes more time and patience. Focus on steady progress, not speed. Do not compare your child to others.

Should I force my stubborn toddler to sit on the potty?

No, forcing usually backfires and makes them more resistant or scared. Offer chances to sit. Encourage them gently. You can be firm about trying (like “We sit on the potty before bath time”), but do not hold them down or make them sit if they are truly fighting it. Make it their choice to go.

What if my child is scared of the flush?

This is common for a toddler scared of potty. Let them sit on the potty or toilet first. After they go, have them get off before you flush. Let them leave the room. Flush when they are gone or when they cover their ears far away. Over time, you can help them get closer if they are ready. Talk about how the flush takes the pee and poop away.

My child only wants to poop in a diaper. What should I do?

This is very common. Let them wear a diaper only for pooping if needed. But make them go to the bathroom to do it. Have them stand near the potty while they poop in the diaper. Once they are okay with that, have them sit on the potty with the diaper on. Cut a hole in the diaper bottom. Next, remove the diaper right as they are starting to go while sitting on the potty. Slowly move towards sitting on the potty without a diaper for poop. Patience is key here. Putting the poop from the diaper into the potty helps make the link.

Should I use pull-ups or underwear for a stubborn child?

Many experts suggest going straight to underwear once you start training. Underwear feels different from a diaper and makes them more aware of accidents. Pull-ups can feel too much like diapers. However, for dealing with potty training regression or for outings, pull-ups can reduce stress. If you use pull-ups, call them “training pants” and remind your child they are still learning to use the potty. Do not rely on them instead of potty trips.

What if rewards do not work for my child?

Not all kids are motivated by sticker charts or treats. Find out how to motivate stubborn toddler potty training in other ways. Maybe extra playtime with you, picking the next activity, a special small toy, or simply lots of verbal praise and high-fives work better. Pay attention to what makes your child happy and use that as a reward for effort and success.

My child screams and cries whenever I bring up the potty. What now?

This shows strong resistance or fear. Back off completely for a few weeks. Do not even talk about the potty much. Put the potty chair away or turn it backwards. Let your child feel like the pressure is off. Revisit readiness signs in a few weeks. Start again very slowly, maybe just by having the potty back in the room or reading a book about it, with no expectation of them using it. Sometimes a break is needed before trying again with a fresh start and a focus on making it low-pressure. This is part of dealing with potty training difficulties.